you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
