Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
