Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This baby is an asshole
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
