i think my mom watched the whole time
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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