she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize