their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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