Whod you bang
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
