So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
