hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Houston, we have a blender
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
