Got a toothbrush?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
