Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
