with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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