we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
They took my balls.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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