Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
