I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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