Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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