actually, I'm a sock model
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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