What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
