If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
