This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
