i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I love you. Go after that dick
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
