shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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