What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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