I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
