Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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