Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
