In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
