so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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