remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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