We're facebook friends in real life
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
