When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize