i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
