You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize