come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
