Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
