the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
