I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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