its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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