just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
