don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
