I want you more than these girls want KFC
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
