Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
