honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i need an iv and a liver transplant
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
