Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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