i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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