he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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