Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm đđ»đ
We are so blessed
I think you know youâve caught feelings when youâre asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
