Well douche your snatch and let's go!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize