So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
