Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
