Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
