i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
