If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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