the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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