I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
