Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
