What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
