Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize