This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
