Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
